Life of an alpha male

[Staysafe 1]

After setting a new Nostalrius leveling speed record, I decided that a celebration was in order. I told Antility to round up the crew, because we were going hunting for Horde. Antility called up our other leveling partner, Mint. Mint is a 5x rank 14 PvP monster. To give you an idea, one time he grinded from rank 1 to 14 without even having a spec, and he has an IV stuck into his arm with soylent mix flowing in at all times to avoid time spent away from the computer.

 

We headed out to Stranglthorn Vale, all dressed in our pre-raid BiS. Antility in his [breastplate of Bloodthirst], guild tabard, and of course his [Dwarven Hand Cannon]. Mint was wearing [Robes of the Exalted] and nothing else. I decided to try some new tailoring patterns and wore my [Robe of the Void] complimented by my [Cap of the Scarlet Savant].

We ran into a little trouble at Booty Bay, when the guards tried to tell us we couldn't trash kids in town. Mint stepped up to the plate. Aggroing the guard, Mint used his macro that /yells "GET FUKD KID" then Holy Shocks his primary target. The guard, dead, wouldn't be bothering us anymore. Antility looked at the lvl 34 horde mage standing across the dock and /flex'd at him. Antility and I RP walked out of the city, /flexing , while Mint had to swim around the city and meet us on the other side because he's 0/36,000 hated with the Steamwheedle Cartell from camping Horde so often. 

O

nce north of Booty bay, we scoped out the situation and it looked pretty grim. A jungle packed with rank 5's and lvl 37's. I shook my head. As you know, I prefer to pork people on  a similar skill level.

A little while later, after camping everyone in STV for HK's worth almost no honor, a Horde logged on a level 1 alliance character to /w me. 

 

Horde cuck: "/w staysafe Hi...ummm... we heard you guys were alpha males and we wanted to know if we re-rolled Alliance if you'd PvP with us someday.. p-please...?"

I fought off the urge to vomit (horde... Gross..) and replied, "You know, you've got a lot of nerve whispering me. Don't you think I'm a little out of your league, rank 2? Now leave me alone, you're ruining my honor per hour."

I was getting impatient. "MINT, find me some worthwhile HK's NOW!" I aggressively typed at him. Mint typed /who stranglethorn on his alt horde character he always multiboxed.

 

Mint: I see a rank 11 orc shaman at the Kurzen Compound, farming silk cloth.

Me: What's his name?

Mint: Hordeforlyfe.

Me: I'm going in.

 

I /flexed and RP walked all  the way up, and first approached the 2 alliance rank 4's trying to tag team the orc shaman. They were wearing gear from Deadmines.

"End of the road, casuals. Step aside and let me handle this totemcuck."

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Edited December 10, 2016 by Staysafe

[Nineohone 0]

A wild Mint appears. 

[Xadaver 0]

Damn you sound hot.

[awarebrah 0]

in.

 

SPOT FOR SALE

 

edit: spot sold to BAGEL BITES, MADE WITH REAL CHEESE

 

[Nineohone 0]

only muricans can produce this level of sperg

[Ellipsea 36]

Surprised you were able to form paragraphs in between waxing your carrot.  grats.

[AshixBorden 4]

Surprised you were able to form paragraphs in between waxing your carrot.  grats.

You just made me spit tea on to my keyboard!

[Buffdaddy 0]

too much hyperbole

[Danko 1]

kek

[RepublicanNatio 0]

 

 

pls stay safe misc

[Destron 2]

#MAGA

[Stormhart 12]

Totemcuck lmao

[Staysafe 1]

Some casuals showed up in my thread without invitation. They're not skilled players, and usually I only associate with minumum rank 12's, but I decided to make an exception. I called up Antility and Mint and we headed back to the forums.

 

A druid with 354 forum posts (nolife lol) who had the forum avatar of an impoverished blind kid was already making posts, trying to get @ me and the boys. I was having none of that. "End of the line, hippie" I told him. I took the toothpick out of my mouth and threw it at my computer screen as a sign of disrespect, alpha male style. "We own these forums now."

 

I roasted this kids poverty forum post like a mage stacking ignites, then pulled out some original quality 10/10 posts "Hey druid who roleplays as a female online", I said to this guy, "Looks like you should invest in some natural testosterone boosters if you're looking to hangout with the big boys". "Why don't you head over to bodybuilding.com and buy some supplements with the promocode 'STAYSAFE' you innervate casting f**k." He looked horrified and said nothing. I took off my aviators and looked directly at his forum avatar on my screen and verbally said -  "Now."

Edited December 10, 2016 by Staysafe

[Nineohone 0]

the mongoloids will be defeated

 

[euron 1]

[Limitless 6]

The forums are getting wierder and wierder. First with ''Faith'', now with Staysafe,,,Who's next?

[RepublicanNatio 0]

The forums are getting wierder and wierder. First with ''Faith'', now with Staysafe,,,Who's next?

 

 

inb4 clive

 

[Aisar87 0]

This is what happens when you wait 9+- months for Nost to return.  

[Nineohone 0]

inb4 clive

 

 

[RepublicanNatio 0]

 

[Nineohone 0]

[Xadaver 0]

Fresh off the boat, from  bbmisc, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshít here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on elysium by saying stupid jokes that your little non-lifting zyzz-worshipping miscing friends would rep.

 

None of that here. You don't rep. You don't neg. This ain't misc, kid. This is Elysium. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to Kronos, you john oliver watching son of a bítch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here.

 

Me ? heh, I'm a priest.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...

[Nineohone 0]

Fresh off the boat, from  bbmisc, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshít here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on elysium by saying stupid jokes that your little non-lifting zyzz-worshipping miscing friends would rep.

 

None of that here. You don't rep. You don't neg. This ain't misc, kid. This is Elysium. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to Kronos, you john oliver watching son of a bítch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here.

 

Me ? heh, I'm a priest.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...

[pichler 1]

@Staysafe: Can you give me some tips please to become an alpha male (nearly) like you and your gang until the next 5 years?

Will my personal life benefit as well? - thinking about da chicks
Will my paladin finally deal some sick dmg?

Edited December 10, 2016 by pichler

[TheOfficialLion 4]

Much life, very alpha, so male.

 

Greetings